I have never had a respectable memory… When I meet someone new, there is a good chance that I have forgotten their name less than 1 minute after the initial introduction. Because of this, I am a slave to lists simply so I know that I have completed everything that needs to be done and not let anything fall to the pit of my worthless memory. As pregnancy takes its hard grip on my body, it has also begun its conquest of my brain as well, leaving me feeling like I have the memory of the baby that I am soon to have.
I seriously feel like I can’t remember anything anymore unless it is written down. Even then, I often look at what I have written down with a completely blank stare wondering why the hell I wrote down what I did. And my mind trails off in completely different directions faster than a bunny being chased by a fox. I have given improper instructions to co-workers, forgotten to pack items I needed for the day, and almost every day I have to question whether or not I have already taken my pre-natal vitamins (most of the time I assume I have already taken them, even though I honestly have absolutely no idea). But the strangest thing is that I am 100% forgiven for all the idiotic mistakes I have made based on my developing pregnancy Alzheimer’s. Even when I sent my maintenance tech at work to the completely wrong apartment to fix a leaking shower, I was exonerated without question. Its like I have gained a total immunity to every stupid mistaken I make, regardless of the impact it has made to others around me.
I love being able to get away with almost anything and without even saying a word, people attribute my errors to the pregnancy. It’s like having a free hall pass to say and do the things you have always wanted to, but knew you never could. Like the other day I had left-over cookies from a party, and I ate three of those bad boys before 10 AM. If I hadn’t been pregnant, the comments of my overzealous appetite for these delicious sweets would have obviously brought on a plethora of negative comments. But since I’m with child, I’m off limits to any sort of comment on my unhealthy eating habits. Even if I decided to dress ala Kim Kardashian pregnancy style (aka- wear extremely inappropriate attire for my growing body), no one would ever say a word, which is why she did it I bet. Or why Jessica Simpson let it be known that she buttered her pop tarts. No one will ever comment on what a pregnant woman eats, at least not to her face. Which make me think if anyone commented on my cookie-eating binge behind my back… I hope not, that would hurt my feelings, and I’m overly emotional right now, due to the hormones.
I realize that I have once again gone off topic, but as is the way with pregnancy brain. My only hope is that after Harper makes her grand arrival, my brain will go back to being just partially incapable of remembering anything, and I hope I don’t forget things that are important as a mother, like bathing her or feeding her! I’ve actually had nightmares about forgetting to feed her. I’ve also had nightmares about a giant war with elephants, but that’s a story for a different blog.