When harper was born, my husband bought her a pacifier attached to a stuffed dragon. He said, “Every princess deserves to be protected by a dragon.” It was adorable. We all went, “awwwww”. Fast-forward almost 21 months later. Dragon has been with her every single nap and bedtime she has ever had in her life. And now the dentist tells me that if I don’t take it away from her now that she will have permanent dental damage. FLM… I have to remove her best friend at the ripe age of 1 1/2.
The first night we decided we were going to cut the tip-off the pacifier so that it didn’t serve it’s sucking purpose and hopefully she would relinquish her attachment to him on her own. “She won’t even realize what happened, but will just stop sucking on it at night!” “Great advice” I received from the dental assistant. Next time I see her I might punch her. Not only did Harper notice that something was wrong with Dragon, but she immediately went into extreme mourning over the changes she discovered in her best friend. She screamed and screamed for almost an hour before she finally fell asleep (I assume only because of the exhaustion caused by so much crying). I thought, “whew, we made it through the first and hardest night.” I jinxed myself so bad with that thought. 1:00 AM rolls around and a horrifying cry comes pouring out of her room. She had woken up and Dragon couldn’t console her. The death-curdling cries proceeded for another hour or so (although it felt like a lifetime) before it subsided and she fell back asleep for the remainder of the night.
Day two: nap time. I sit here writing this post as my daughter screams her lungs out in her room because there is no way in hell anyone could ever take a nap without their pacifier. How dare I even suggest such a thing? Everyone keeps telling me to just stay strong. Those people should be the ones to come and put her down for her nap without her paci. Then at least I’m not the monster that disfigured her best friend and left her to deal with the aftermath. I just watch her on the monitor, so sad, so upset. And I feel like the worst mom ever. I hate the dentist. They did this to me… to us!
I don’t know what the future holds, but I do know that there is no turning back on the decision to take Dragon’s pacifier from Harper (or is there??). I think I must come to terms that I may never sleep again for the remainder of my life. I feel the pain and suffering of every other mom in the world who has gone through this, and envy the ones who made it through the journey alive. Dragon was meant to protect princess Harper, and he isn’t going to let go without a fight. I guess I’ll pour myself a tall glass of wine and contemplate the future, paci free. Wish me luck.
I will remember you… RIP Dragon December 2013-September 2015