A Note to the Childless

It has been a long time since I have taken on my TrendyHotMama blog. The last I left you, I was entering my third trimester of pregnancy, and was living in ignorant bliss to the reality of the life that lay ahead of me. Well, over a year later, I am happy to report that I am still alive, and more importantly, I have kept my mini-human alive as well. 2014 was a roller coaster of emotions, experiences, adjustments, and learning how to mold myself to fit this new way of life. The first few weeks of Harper’s life are actually a pretty big blur. I remember sleeping on the floor in her nursery because she didn’t want to sleep in her pack n play in our room, and she would wake up every hour or two (I mean, honestly, who knew babies actually did that, right? I thought it was all just lies told to scare people for population control). As the weeks passed by, our daily lives got easier. My life was consumed with bottles, sleep schedules, tummy time, and diapers. I am a routine junky, so this suited me just fine, and Harper was thriving in the little world we were creating for her. I missed out on a lot of fun times because I was so consumed with this routine and making sure she was on schedule. My husband and I said “no” to a lot of invitations. This was one of my first mistake, among many that I made as a new mom. I ignored my friends because I thought I was “too busy”. When I returned to work, I can’t even pretend like I was upset. I was beyond excited to get back to the working world, and hopefully retrieve some sort of resemblance of the life I had before baby (just with an awesome new companion to join me). Looking back on this now, I don’t think I have ever been more naïve in my entire life. So much changes when you have a child. Your body is now a big flubberly ball, no matter how great you eat or how often you work out (and lets be real, I eat like a fat kid, so I wasn’t doing myself any favors). But the body issues were peanuts compared to the other sacrifices. You can no longer go to happy hours at a whim. Date nights must be strategically planned out in advance. Traveling is like preparing for nuclear war. Even going on a run, which used to be my solace, was an extraordinary obstacle. The hardest part for me, however, was the realization that the world wasn’t stopping to wait for me to regain my footing. Events continued to be scheduled, trips planned, and drinks drank without even an invitation extended to me or my husband. I was losing friends, and it was the time when I needed them the most. But I didn’t blame them. No one wants to eat dinner while a baby cries in the background. Movie nights are much better at a theater than at home with frequent interruptions. And trips are so much easier to plan when you don’t have a mini-human who owns more stuff than Kim Kardashian to travel with as well. I knew all this, because I was living it every day. Being one of the first of your friends to have a child is really like being sent out to the front line to see if you live. The rest of the army is waiting to see if they should follow. But the trade off was and still is worth it. Harper Rita is the light in every single one of my days. Her smile could pull me out of the worst mood possible, and lift me to the highest heights. Her laugh is contagious, and her cry cuts through to my soul. I feel pain with her, and I feel joy with her. I would trade anything in the world to spend just a few extra minutes with her each day. I get excited thinking about the fun adventures we will get to play together. Even something as simple as the promise of peek-a-boo is more exciting to me than any happy hour in the world. But I still miss my pre-baby adventures. So here is my public service announcement to all the non-parents out there with new parent friends. Don’t forget about them. They may say “no” to an invitation a hundred times in a row, but they appreciate each and every one of those requests. It might be that one hundred and first invitation that they finally can say “yes” to, and we will be beyond excited to spend that baby-free night or weekend with our friends. And I promise that when you decide to start a family of your own, we will understand why you have slept on the floor for weeks, haven’t worked out in a month, and keep saying “no” to invitations. Because we were in the trenches first. But we will keep inviting you to everything, and will be so excited when the time come that you finally get to say “yes”.   10390968_10205399060446227_2752216583132322441_n

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